Wow... a whole year went by, obviously blogging isn't a strong suit of mine but I am learning that in this MAJOR transition not everything I need to say is appropriate in the form of a facebook post... so here goes nothing...!
As I'm sure anyone who reads this blog knows I am pregnant, a pregnancy I hoped and dreamed for, and to be pregnant with my first daughter...it just feels so beautiful. So I have found myself wondering a lot lately, why am I not happier? why don't I have that glow that most pregnant woman have? how selfish am I for complaining about a blessing that a lot of woman will never get the opportunity to have? Now I know these are all "normal" emotions a pregnant woman goes through, but I still can't help but feel I need to be better. I haven't had the opportunity to speak with many pregnant woman which I guess is my own dang fault but I can't help wondering if I am alone in this??? Am I the only person to count down the weeks until she can GET OUT OF MY BODY! (in the most loving ways possible of course). I guess you could call this post a rant, I'd prefer to call it a release... I'd like to meet another pregnant woman who doesn't slather me with her warm and fuzzies about being pregnant and tells me she hasn't slept in months... because YA'LL... I HAVENT!!! So here goes the things I wish I could scream but will instead write down, for all 2 people who havent given up hope on me returning the blogging...
- This little girl inside of me is full of spunk and LEGS! yes my daughter will be just as tall if not taller then me poor thing...and inside my body those legs are not happy..I can tell they don't fit like she wants them too anymore and poor thing is stuck trying to figure out how to stay in the breech position with all those legs which leads me to my least favorite pregnant experience..
- I refer to this as my dead rib...the left one has been numb since month 6, ALL her ultrasounds show her in the same position, head IN MY RIB, ouch!
- Has anyone had pregnancy insomnia? As a girl who loves to sleep I think this is just CRUEL!! And if one more person tells me too "sleep while I can"...but then there are the nights I do get a few hours of sleep, they are full of dreams...zombie babies...dead babies...babies ripping out of my body...puppy babies...occasionally I get the old "attacked by an escaped bear" dream...which i never thought would be a relief, but it is..
-And lastly the reason I felt the need to post a rant today...good ole Working while pregnant... I figured I would hate it more then normal ( I HATE my job if anyone was wondering) but what I didn't expect was that I was going to lose my brain...literally its mush...mushy mush full of confusing stares and disciplinary action from my boss who apparently doesn't remember what its like working while being 8 months pregnant... I have worked there 2 years with a perfect record but now that I am 9 weeks from having a child I am in trouble...like all the time?? something seems fishy here...
Anyways now I must remind you all that this pregnancy is beautiful to me, I do see the goodness, I see the gift that I am able to create life and start a family with my sweet husband....I truly know little girl is meant to be in our family and I will forever cherish this experience, fortuantley they say you forget all the torture and want another one all over again... I do admit to forgetting about my first and second trimester of morning sickness from time to time so I have faith that this too shall pass...all too quickly I am sure....
